🚀 NOW OPEN: THE GALAXY’S FIRST EARTH-STYLE BAR, Smitty’s Guide to Interstellar Bartending by Ray Tabler
One of the most entertaining new science fiction books in today’s lineup of sci fi fantasy books and fantasy book releases.
NEWS FLASH: HAPPY HOUR HAS GONE INTERSTELLAR
Nazca Press is delighted to announce the release of Smitty’s Guide to Interstellar Bartending by Ray Tabler: a comic space opera about alien abduction, questionable business decisions, and the timeless human need for a decent drink after a long shift.
Smitty only wanted to pour beverages and drift from town to town. A quiet life. A simple life. Possibly one with fewer tentacles.
Then the aliens abducted him.
Unfortunately for everyone involved, the aliens’ memory-wiper was busted.
When the memory-wiper fails, the bartender gets promoted.
With no convenient way to erase Smitty’s memories and send him back to Earth, his abductors are left with a very awake, very talkative human on their hands. Smitty does what any experienced bartender might do in a crisis: he talks his way into a new job, a new neighborhood, and eventually his own establishment on Goulaub Station.
The station has everything a small-business owner could want, including tentacled commuters, stone-skinned muggers, suspicious officials, rival lounges, and a star that might go supernova one day. Admittedly, the last item may complicate the lease.
A BAR, A BUSINESS PLAN, AND A VERY BAD ABDUCTION
At its heart, Smitty’s Guide to Interstellar Bartending is a story about making a home in a place that absolutely did not ask for you.
Smitty arrives on Goulaub Station with no conventional plan, no familiar customer base, and no clear understanding of local regulations. What he does have is experience behind the bar, an instinct for reading a room, and the practical wisdom to know that even aliens need somewhere to complain.
And complain they do.
The station’s residents may have three heads, eyes on stalks, or enough limbs to make closing duties a genuine workplace hazard. But their troubles are recognizable. Their bosses are difficult. Their partners are complicated. Their jobs are exhausting. Their cocktails are often disappointing.
Smitty sees an opportunity.
THE COMEDIC PLOT, SERVED NEAT
Here’s what awaits readers aboard Goulaub Station:
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Smitty gets abducted by aliens. He was expecting another ordinary stop on his itinerant bartending route. Instead, he gets beamed into a situation involving two grumpy Martians and a serious shortage of memory-wiping fluid.
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The memory-wiper is busted. The aliens can’t erase Smitty’s recollection and return him home, leaving them stuck with an alert, conversational human who has questions, and plenty of opinions about their customer service.
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Smitty opens a bar on Goulaub Station. Once stranded in another star system, he falls back on the one skill that has always served him well: pouring drinks and listening to people talk.
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The customers are tentacled commuters. They may look strange, but they still need a place to unwind after work. Smitty soon discovers that universal problems make for remarkably universal bar conversations.
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The officials are corrupt. Permits, shakedowns, oxygen charges, and bureaucratic interference are all part of the package. Apparently, red tape travels faster than light.
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The competition is lively. Rival lounges, dubious business practices, and the worst house band in the galaxy ensure that Smitty’s opening night is only the beginning of his troubles.
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The stakes are cosmic. Goulaub Station orbits a stormy star with a potentially explosive future. It’s difficult to build a stable business when the local sun may eventually make a dramatic exit.
The drinks are cold. The regulations are hot. The house band is still under review.
WHY READERS WILL WANT A STOOL AT THE BAR
Ray Tabler brings a working bartender’s eye to the science-fiction adventure. Smitty doesn’t approach the galaxy as a chosen hero, brilliant scientist, or decorated starship commander. He’s a practical man with a useful trade, a flexible attitude, and a growing suspicion that someone should really be in charge around here.
That perspective gives the novel its particular charm.
Instead of treating the universe as a distant place filled only with grand empires and high-stakes battles, Smitty’s Guide to Interstellar Bartending finds humor in the ordinary details. Who has the best lunch special? Which official wants a bribe? Why is the customer in the corner glowing? Is that drink supposed to fizz like that?
These are the questions that keep civilization moving.
The book has the breezy, absurdist spirit of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and the warm, communal appeal of Cheers. It’s a story where the universe may be enormous, dangerous, and poorly regulated, but a good bar can still make it feel manageable.
For readers browsing sci fi fantasy books or keeping an eye on fantasy book releases with a comic streak, Smitty’s misadventure offers something especially inviting: a galaxy full of oddballs, hazards, and bureaucratic nonsense, all improved by the presence of a decent bartender.
There’s comfort in a familiar counter. There’s wisdom in a well-timed pour. And there’s a certain democratic magic in watching a stone-skinned commuter and a stranded Earth bartender discover that they have more in common than either expected.
FROM EARTH TO GOULAUB STATION
The novel’s premise began with Ray Tabler’s short story “The Departure Lounge,” which introduced the idea of a con man opening a bar on an alien planet. That story eventually grew into two separate novels, including Smitty’s Guide to Interstellar Bartending.
The result is a fast-moving, good-humored adventure that mixes workplace comedy with cosmic peril. Smitty has to deal with alien customers, rival businesses, corrupt constables, and the occasional reminder that the station’s orbiting star is not entirely trustworthy.
He also has to build a community.
That may be the most enjoyable part of the story. Smitty’s bar becomes more than a place to order a drink. It becomes a meeting point for travelers, workers, schemers, officials, and creatures who need somewhere to sit down before making their next questionable decision.
In other words, it becomes exactly what a good bar should be.
A NEW RELEASE FROM NAZCA PRESS
Smitty’s Guide to Interstellar Bartending is the latest science-fiction release from Nazca Press, the Misti Media imprint devoted to science fiction, fantasy, and horror.
The book is available in EPUB, paperback, and hardcover editions, and all formats are available for purchase now. Current pricing ranges from $4.99 to $24.00, depending on format.
Readers looking for new science fiction books can find this title at Nazca Press, alongside more sci fi fantasy books and standout fantasy book releases from our wider publishing family.
Readers can also visit Misti Media to explore more books from our family of genre-focused imprints.
Whether you’re a longtime science-fiction reader, a fan of comic space adventures, or someone who believes every galactic crisis deserves a properly mixed beverage, this is an invitation to pull up a chair.
The glassware is polished. The aliens are waiting. The hyperbolic house band is warming up, and that may be the most dangerous development of all.
PULL UP A BAR STOOL
Ray Tabler’s Smitty’s Guide to Interstellar Bartending is a cheerful, chaotic trip through the galaxy, powered by bad luck, good instincts, and the universal appeal of a place where someone knows your order.
Smitty didn’t plan to leave Earth. He certainly didn’t plan to become the proprietor of a bar on a space station orbiting a potentially unstable star.
But sometimes the universe hands you an impossible situation, a broken memory-wiper, and a liquor license.
When that happens, you open the doors.
READY TO JOIN SMITTY ON GOULAUB STATION? VISIT THE NAZCA PRESS PRODUCT PAGE AND CHOOSE YOUR FORMAT.
